More Than Pride

Citizen of the Republic. 

We’ve already featured 5 people (sometimes a group) under this category. If you’ve been chosen… edi ikaw na. LOL. 

But kidding aside, you’ve probably lived a life that’s worthy of sharing, a life that’s meant to inspire, and a life that’s meant to touch others. And so this pride month, the person that we’ll be featuring is someone who embodies these very ideals, having inspired others in more ways than one. It’s a story about pride, kasi mapride si Jepoy Madrid. Kimi! 

Why Jepoy?

Pero bakit nga ba siya? Andaming bading at tibo sa BR but why Jepoy Madrid? 

It’s because he has touched lives and colored them in ways that go beyond the normal “I’m just helping you out.” Kasi it’s not just about lending a hand, it’s about knowing when to speak out and when to listen, a combination na most people do not understand. This talent definitely makes those around him feel special because they are able to experience what most cannot. But what truly sets him apart is his perspective of his own identity. Alam naman nating our own society is very unfair. Times may have changed but the norms? Same old, same old. The world continues to impose stereotypes based on sexuality. And Jepoy surely knows how to paint a colorful portrait that captivates those who encounter him. Dahil para sa kanya, sexuality isn’t equated to his worth. A simple explanation to this, it’s just who he is and it’s not something that’s less or more than any other facet of his life. 

In a society where we are pressured to conform to what the majority deems normal, Jepoy stands firm dahil he is confident enough to show to the world (the universe rather) his true self. 

And most importantly, because this article is more than just about Pride Month, it’s more than just featuring him as a part of the LGBTQ+ community, it’s more than just the struggles he’s had. It’s about how he became who he is today and how he keeps to cont;nue his legacy of helping others. 

Coming Out? More Like Chismis ni Mama

Unlike the usual story where the family finds it hard to accept their son/daughter who came out to them, Jepoy had it differently. Nagdala lang siya ng lalaki sa bahay and that was it. Ang galing nga naman. 

It was as if he and his family had a silent understanding about it. I mean he even shares some outfits with his mom. But the actual totoo-na-this-time-walang-halong-eme “coming out” story was brought about by a break up. And true to what they say, when things get too painful and it seems like the world is just conniving to get you, you’ll always find comfort with your family. Dahil ang yakap ng ina ang tanging makakapagtahan sa umiiyak na puso ng anak niya. 

The next thing that he knew, his sister was telling him that their mom already chismis-ed what happened. And well, the rest was history. 

Papa was a Different Story

Because he never knew. Jepoy did not get the chance to come out to his father before he passed away. But he was ok with that. Because if it was going to be an issue with his father, then it was better that he didn’t know. When asked if he thought his father knew, well, same answer. Probably kasi nakapagdala ulit siya ng lalaki to meet them. Chariz. But on a serious note, Jepoy had a hunch that his Papa knew. Why and how? He simply said that he was on the softer side and his father probably knew ‘cos of the way that he dresses. And well, don’t our parents always know about the things that happen in our lives? It’s like their second sense or something. 

Any Regrets?

Of course, but Jepoy found it comforting that he was able to spend more time with his father before he passed away. He was there for him for his medical check-ups and those times that he was confined in the hospital. 

“Mag-aAngkas ako, mag-o-offset nalang ako, babalik ako [r]ito para lang ‘yung work na naiwan ko during the time na kailangan ko siyang samahan sa check-up ay magawa ko pa rin. So nung pandemic, nasa better place siya kasi mas ok na ‘yung health after all the staycations [in the hospital].”

But of course, someone passing away still shocks and hurts us. Especially for Jepoy and his family as they were not there with his father during his last minutes. It was painful, and just like any normal person, they grieved. But it was different for him. He knew he had to put his own emotions aside because his family needed someone strong enough to face it. 

Times Get Tough and Even Tougher

But it wasn’t just his grief that he had to put aside. About a month ago before all of this, Jepoy found out that he was HIV+. And who wouldn’t be overwhelmed by this kind of news? Talagang dito matetest kung gaano katatag ang isang tao. Fear and anxiety came to him. But he knew it was his responsibility to push through and even if the future looked grim because concerns about health and worries about stigma were there, he had to move forward. 

He was already grappling with his own silent battle for about a month when the news of his dad passing away was broken to him and his family. And just like being caught in a storm, Jepoy was struggling to keep afloat the harsh waters. But he had to be the stronger force in that war. Kailangan siya ng pamilya niya at that moment and for him, his family was more important than anything else. He knew he was strong enough to face his own battle alone.

“Pero ‘yung pain and lungkot of him passing is our battle and I felt the need to be ready to be on the frontline in facing it for them.”

Dahil kailangan. Because even if times get tough, you have to show that you are tougher. 

Kung Hindi Siya? Sino Pa?

It’s very big of a responsibility to claim the role of a father figure. But at that time, it felt like he had to be that sandalan ng pamilya nila. It was needed.

“Kailangan nila ng typical tatay na ipagdridrive ka kapag may kailangan kang asikasuhin, magiging malakas for you… [he was a] chill father. That part of me is sa kanya ko namana [and] that trait na ‘yun is very him na I think very needed.”

Yes, it was difficult to assume that role, especially in a society that sees gays as not man enough to be a father, but it had to happen kasi kailangan. And this showed how strong of a person Jepoy was especially at that time when he was also down but needed to stand up for his family. Kasi nga kailangan. 

The Miss Universe Questions

What’s your biggest learning in life as someone who has gone through a lot? 

“As someone na maraming pinagdaanan, daanan mo lang.”

There might have been a time that he had to prove himself to others kasi iba ‘yung tingin nila sa kanya, kasi bago siya, kasi bakla siya. He still remembers the moment when he showed everyone that he’s more skilled than them just to prove na walang kinalaman ang pagiging bakla niya in things that he can do. Because sexuality does not affect someone’s capability. Kahit anong letter ka pa sa LGBTQ+ o kung wala ka man dyan pero masama ang ugali mo, that’s a you problem. 

And that might be what some people can’t accept. Because they believe na ang pagiging bakla makes you less of a person, but in reality, treating other people badly makes you exactly that. 

And look at Jepoy now, things actually panned out well. And as he mentioned, if you’ll still stay doon sa dapat pinagdaanan mo na, you’ll get stuck. Know that there’s always a rainbow after the rain. Kahit gaano kalakas ‘yung bagyong dadaan sa buhay mo, know that eventually, it will stop and when it does, you’ll find yourself understanding why and how you got through it. 

“Kailangan mo lang i-live ‘yung life.”

As simple as that may be, but that’s how it should be. Everything that happens in your life, happens to make you shine. 

What’s you message to your younger self?

“Kung nagpapaka-sad boy ka man, just do the same thing na ginawa ko from your point.”

And you will get where you want to be. Jepoy believes that stopping or conforming to societal norms does not help your growth. You might lose friends along the way but know that the right people will be there for you through thick or thin, may they be part of the LGBTQ+ community or those straights. 

The End

Nakakapagod naman talaga ang life. But giving meaning to it makes it worth living. And from the life story of Jepoy Madrid, the one thing that I’ve learned is people will see all the bad parts of the good things you’ve done, but who cares? Just be who you are. 

And true to Pride Month’s theme, Jepoy Madrid’s story tells us how important it is to live a life that’s not held by the constraints of society. No matter how big the judgment or criticism you may face, what matters the most is staying true to yourself and just living your life. 

This Pride Month, take pride in being who you are. But do remember na hindi lang ito ang buwan when you can celebrate empowerment and self-affirmation, you can do it all-year round and no one can stop you.

At dahil we’re all about inclusivity, we also want to celebrate the members of the LGBTQ+ community na tumayong tatay sa kani-kanilang pamilya (Oh, ‘di ba? Pride month na nga, father’s day tribute pa!). At kasama si Jepoy Madrid na naging sandalan ng nanay at mga kapatid niya on those days that they were all down, saludo kami sa inyong lahat. 

And one more lesson from June’s Citizen of the Republic, always remember to simply continue living your life not just in a way that you want to be remembered, but also how you want to leave a positive impact on those around you. 

POSITIVE IMPACT?! 

Tama na! Cue in I Was Here by Beyonce.